Thursday, October 18, 2012

While enjoying Fall Break, I have managed to fit in three book signings.  I am nervous. What if no one shows up, what if a lot of people show up. What if I don't sell any books, what if I sell out and don't have enough. Good grief. It is funny, when I wrote it, I honestly had no idea that people would love it so much.  Now I find myself worried, that not enough people will get a chance to read it and be blessed by it.  I need a press release, I call the publisher and they say sure, no problem, that will be 500.00.  So I write my own - yeah right - that's gonna fly. I contact Mardel, Barnes and Noble - apparently it takes an act of congress to get the book into their stores.  I bet the publisher could work it out for a fee.  Worry, nervous, grief . . . . . . . . . . NOT at all what this is about.  I distinctly remember writing it and thinking if it just blesses one person, it will be worth the publishing fees.  I remember telling the marketing person that I wasn't worried about marketing the book, that it was God's idea that I write it and God will make sure it gets to the people who need it.  Where did that confidence go? Why am I worried about it.  Seriously, I am letting it go.  I am giving it to Him.  After I sell the last of the 75 books I have left, I will have almost paid myself back for the publishing costs.  That in itself is way beyond what I ever thought would happen.  It has never been my book, it was never my story, it was His story.  The story of God putting His loving arms around me and comforting me through times that were at best horrific.  Thank you God for making me an instrument for You.

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